


a cat can bring some lovelife into your life

by miocean



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Feelings Realization, It's hard, M/M, Not beta, an old fic and i'm too lazy to read and edit, based on a tweet links in notes, i wrote this a long long long time ago, lets just ignore jae's allergy to cat, not really that long, nothing graphic because i can't do it, oh no., parkian are f buds in this, uh ye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29716743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miocean/pseuds/miocean
Summary: “That’s for Kuro, by the way,” Brian said as Jae lifted his head from the pillow and followed the direction Brian had pointed with his eyes.parkian friends with benefits au+cat
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	a cat can bring some lovelife into your life

**Author's Note:**

> again, jae isn't allergic to cat in this. so enjoyyyy. 
> 
> ps i wrote this on nov last year. and i'd post a gdoc link of this fics before. so, if you had seen it before, yes it's the same one.
> 
> Based on this [tweet](https://twitter.com/eajpils/status/1316299547489034242)  
> that is based on this [reddit](https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1316080727780360193) post.

  
  


“That’s for Kuro, by the way,” Brian said as Jae lifted his head from the pillow and followed the direction Brian had pointed with his eyes. He can see a small plastic bag sitting on his chest drawer. Jae rolled to his side and he let his eyes lingered on Brian’s broad back. He picked his discarded jacket on the floor, patting the sleeves and straightening the wrinkles on them. Then Jae noticed Brian had been, using the mirror, to stare back at him. He smirked and Jae swore he could almost hear Brian asking him  _ ‘like what you see?’ _ from his smug expression. Jae frowned and returned to their conversation.

“Bri. I told you…don’t buy food for him. He’s on a diet.”

The sound of Brian’s laughter sent shivers down Jae’s spine—those deep baritone tones never failed to resonate through every part of his soul and made his knees wobbly all over. 

“And I told you; he’s fine the way he is.”

“Bribri, he’s fat.”

“Didn’t know you’re those types of people who like to fat-shame others…tsk.”

“Fuck you.”

The audacity of this man, Jae huffed as he threw a pillow at Brian. The latter laughed as he avoided the throw and walked to pick up his rucksack. Jae trailed Brian’s movement with his eyes and Brian walked closer towards Jae before stopping in front of him. Brian smiled as he hunched down to plant a kiss on his crown. Their faces were close enough to have his heartbeat rising. The gesture was strangely intimate and it made something uneasy seethed in Jae’s stomach. 

“Anytime, baby. I don't mind a switch of role sometimes,” Brian grinned as his hand ruffled Jae’s hair. He groaned and sent Brian the nastiest glare he can muster.

“Asshole. I’m never letting you in my house again.”

“Hmm...that'll be a problem. How can I see Kuro then?" 

Jae gasped as Brian laughed at his faux shocked expression and dramatic gasp after hearing Brian's statement. “I knew it. Sex is just a bonus for you. The main deal is my cat.”

Brian shook his head, smiling as his hand trailed down from Jae’s head, slow movements, like he was imprinting each touch to memory. He cupped Jae's cheek, stroking the skin with his thumb. Jae ignored the burning sensation they left in its wake. It was just the cold getting to him, he reasoned. He needed to turn up the temperature soon. 

He didn’t know how to describe the moment when he looked into Brian’s eyes. They stood still, staring into the depths of each other until Brian snapped out of it—whatever it was. And Jae didn’t want to think about it, never. He tried not to miss the sensation of Brian’s skin on his cheek. Stop--Jae warned himself, again and again, repeating as if mimicking the sound of the chain rolling down after throwing an anchor into the sea, rolling until it reached the seabed, until it finally seeded deep in his mind.

“I’ll be going now, don’t forget to give Kuro my gift.”

“If he gets any fatter I’m holding you responsible,” Jae groaned as he lay down on his back before scooting over to lie on his side.

"Looking forward to it."

“Asshole,” Jae said but there was no bite to it.

Jae watched as Brian’s retreating figure disappeared from his room and he heard a loud meow coming from the living area after. He closed his eyes when he heard Brian’s baby talk with Kuro. He rolled to lay on his stomach, peering through the gaps of the door that Brian had left open, to see Brian, as he kneeled down and petted Kuro on the head. That traitorous cat nudged his head over Brian’s palm, purring loudly. It was endearing to see those two interact so closely with each other. They looked cute together.

Since the very first day, Jae was glad that Brian liked Kuro as much as he did. Jae was planning to kick Brian out if he showed any disgust towards his baby. But he had, in a way, found himself a nice, cozy spot in their life. It had been some sort of a routine for him when it was time for him to go back, Brian would spend some time with Kuro, playing or babying with the cat. Sometimes, minutes became hours and Brian once had to stay over because he’d miss the last bus. Jae smiled at the recollection of Brian saying goodbye and five minutes later showing up at his doorstep looking like a lost cat.

And, Kuro, who was usually edgy around people other than Jae. It was a surprise when Brian was able to win over his cat in such a short time. Probably the snacks, Jae concluded and he glanced at the white plastic again. He didn’t want to know how many snacks he brought this time. Brian had been buying so many treats for his cat that on Kuro’s last check-up his vet had told Jae that he had gained a considerable amount of weight and was on the road to obesity. 

He needed to bring Brian to one of Kuro’s check-up appointments someday and have the vet scold him for the snack thing. Yes, let's put that on the checklist. He mentally added the task. 

After a few petting sessions, he heard Brian say goodbye to Kuro and then followed by a ‘bye, Jae’ and the click of the door closing. Kuro made himself known as he paraded into his room, climbing up the bed. The cat sat on his chest and meowed multiple times before Jae finally surrendered to his attention. Brian must have given him some snack earlier and now he knew about its existence.

“I hate you, Kuro. How could you?” he mumbled as he sat up. He looked over the bag of treats Brian brought for Kuro for the third time and sighed loudly. There goes his cat diet, down to the gutter.

Stupid Brian.

Stupid seducing smile cat lover Brian.

“Why do you like Brian so much?” Jae grumbled, scratching the cat chin and all over his neck.

“Meow.”

“Stupid cat seducer. I even lost my cat to you.”

|

The friends with benefits arrangement with Brian had been going on for three months now. Dowoon had suggested it when Jae said he was tired of commitments. He wasn’t a bad guy per se, but he is a man, in his early twenties, with needs like a normal functioning human. It was normal. But, the thing called relationship was just too messy and too much for a simple guy like him. Jae wasn’t ready to deal with the drama and all that jazz that comes with it.

Then, Brian came into the equation. The solution to Jae’s problem. His messiah.

It was a mystery how the Adonis incarnation, the Greek god sculpture of man, came into Jae’s life, but it happened. On one party night, the one where Wonpil had dragged him to against his will, he met Brian Kang. He was minding his own business, minimising any human interaction as he worked out the appropriate time to leave without anyone noticing, Wonpil especially. But unfortunately, God got another plan for him. He was getting another drink when Brian came by, striking an unwanted conversation with him. And, being the awkward bean he was and Brian was, he deemed, too hot for him to handle, Jae tried to avoid him. But the said man was relentless in his pursuit. Jae didn’t know why this hot specimen of a human wanted to talk to him. He didn’t know why Brian was dead set on trying to get him to talk. It was quickly becoming a disaster.

But on that fateful night, he was offered with the solution to his current dilemma. Brian, in all honesty--after Jae finally waved the white flag and talked to him, was a great guy. They clicked with each other on lots of things that Jae didn’t expect they would. It was like they have been friends with each other since the start and it didn’t take long until Jae started rambling to him about his problem. Jae didn’t remember how the whole shebang went, but the next thing he knew they were already fucking each other.

Brian was great. The activities they did together were amazing--the sex was great. Brian Kang was a great addition to his monotonous life. It was a good deal. His life was finally going for a better direction. But then, like every other best friend, Wonpil and Dowoon warned him not to get in too deep with it. That he should probably rethink about the whole thing with Brian.

_ “You’ll be stuck in a mess that is even messier than the mess that you’re trying to avoid,” Wonpil said. _

And, Jae, of course, like the typical unassuming worry-free person, shrugged it off and told Wonpil that he will be fine. Like, what could possibly go wrong?

_ ‘You worry too much,’ was what he had said. _

And, things had been going well for a month. Nothing can ever go wrong. He was so sure of it. His life was great.

Although he wasn't sure why the deepest, deep, deep part of his mind started to question otherwise. 

||

“Jae.”

Jae looked up from his phone and looked at Wonpil's inquisitive face. He raised an eyebrow and put his phone on lock before placing it face down on the table. Jae leaned forward, sipping his drink as he stared at his two friends. “What?”

Wonpil shared a look with Dowoon, with the latter shaking his head, trying to discourage Wonpil from doing whatever he thought Wonpil would do. But, it was like a deaf man trying to show direction to a blind man. Dowoon took out his phone, playing some games and staying out of whatever Wonpil was trying to do. 

“Who was it?” he asked, although Jae was sure the little shit knew ‘who’ it was. He was grinning with a teasing tone laced while asking that question.

“Who?” Jae feigned ignorance, staring at his drink while stirring it, observing nothing in particular. 

“Your phone.”

Jae rolled his eyes. “No one. It's just a picture.”

“Just a picture?” Wonpil drawled, still not giving up and Jae almost hit his head for being so nosy.

“Yes.”

“But, why’re you smiling so much?”

“Why? Can’t I?”

“Just...you know, suspicious.”

“It’s just a picture of Kuro.”

“Hmm...of Kuro, I see."

Jae rolled his eyes. “What is it?”

“Just Kuro?”

Jae narrowed his eyes at the younger and gave him the middle finger. Wonpil laughed and decided to end the topic but Jae was sure the younger would ask him again later. And Jae’s phone vibrated. He glanced at it and smiled knowing the reason behind the notification. Brian must have sent another picture of him and Kuro. He didn’t know when Brian took these pictures but they never failed to make his day better. His own daily subscription of Brian and Kuro’s pictures. Sometimes, Brian sent Kuro’s pictures with him being adorable or funny, or with both of them in it. Those two are so adorable together. Jae admitted that he was a bit jealous when Kuro showed a lot of affection with Brian but when Jae tried to take pictures with him, Kuro just left him alone or showed disgust in the set of photos. But, they looked cute so all’s good and forgiven.

Jae looked up and saw Wonpil’s eyes on him with a sly smile etched on his face. Jae ignored him and continued to sip his drink, talking to Dowoon about the new game that he’d been dying to play.

|||

Jae placed Brian's mug on the table and joined him on the couch. Kuro has been trying to catch the cat toy Brian brought with him. When it was almost within his reach, Brian pulled the feather up and away from his delicate claws. 

"Bribri, what's this?"

"A cat toy?"

"Yeah, didn't I tell you to stop buying stuff for Kuro?"

"You told me to stop buying him snacks," Brian laughed, "not that I would listen to anyway."

Jae huffed and leaned on Brian's side, he dropped his head on Brian's shoulder. It was weirdly comforting as he watched the two play with each other. Kuro's attachment towards Brian was really strong and Jae swear the cat loves Brian more than him. 

"Didn't you come here to play with me? Why're you playing with Kuro?"

"Is someone jealous?"

"As if," Jae smacked the toy’s stick, causing it to wobble and Kuro jumped into action as he saw it moved. Brian laughed and continued playing with the cat toy, enticiting the black cat, his eyes big and focused on the dancing feather. 

"You're the one complaining he's fat, so I'm having him do some exercise."

"That’s just your excuse to play with him, smart-ass."

"You'll have my full, undivided attention after this, promise," Brian laughed but his eyes were trained on Kuro. 

And Jae was not amused with that. He needed to do something about it. 

“Brian,” Jae whispered in his ear, trying to be as seductive as possible as he climbed up on Brian's lap, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. He smirked when he felt the shift of tension in Brian’s posture. He leered on Brian’s lips, his nose, taking his time before meeting Brian’s eyes. 

“Jae,” Brian said, his voice promising a threat but it didn’t bother him because Jae knew the threat was empty. He catched Brian’s eyes wandering on his lips. 

Jae pressed his whole body against Brian’s and roamed his hands along his back, digging his fingers in the fabric of his t-shirt, feeling the muscle underneath. Then, he could hear the cat toy hit the hard surface of the floor with a thud. Kuro wasted no opportunity and caught it. He brought it away from them. Hopefully somewhere far, so that Brian won't get distracted.

He placed his nose on the crook of Brian neck, smelling him. He remembers that sometimes Brian told him how good he smelled, how it enticed him when he took in Jae's vanilla scent. 

And Brian smelled good, really good. He didn't know that Jae too liked smelling him. Because it had the same effect on him as it did to Brian. 

Jae pulled away to put enough distance between them. He dragged his hands from Brian’s back to his shoulders, tracing a path down his biceps, then his forearms, and then back to his shoulders. Jae kneaded the taut muscle of his shoulders. He took a moment to breathe before he had his eyes up to meet Brian’s. “Do I have your full attention now, Mr Kang?”

Brian hesitated no further as he dived in for a kiss. Slow at first, just nipping and enjoying the way Jae’s lips tasted against his. Plump and soft. Addictive and sweet. Maddeningly delicious. Jae closed his eyes, feeling the sensation of the kisee and the firm touches as it engulfed him. 

Brian pulled Jae impossibly close, kissing him ardently, skimming the lips as he asked for entrance which Jae granted in a heartbeat. The kiss was long, passionate, and he was losing his mind. Then, Brian’s mouth moved around, kissing the corners of his lips, going down, lower, and his tongue was traveling on the side of his neck and occasionally, sinking his teeth on Jae’s alabaster skin. Jae hissed at the sensation, gripping harder on Brian’s shoulder. Brian’s mouth kept lapping on his neck with sucks and bites. His fingers came to tangle in the Brian’s hair, tugging as Brian trailed his mouth down to his collarbone.

Then, Jae could feel Brian’s hands moving around before gripping firmly on his waist. Then, his hands, oh, his hand kept moving everywhere--his waist, the small of his back, his spine, his hips--leaving prickling traces on his skin, burning. His hands left Jae’s hips and slid under his shirt, touching the soft skin underneath. 

And, Jae wasn't letting Brian have all the fun. He felt his hardness against his jeans. Jae let his hips jerked forward and earned a low grunt from Brian as a result. Brian grabbed his hips, steadying him when Jae grinded their erections in a nice, calculated rhythm. And with just one look, half-lidded eyes, paired with the lowest voice he could muster, and a lick on Brian’s lips, Jae knew what should be coming next. 

“Take care of me, Bribri,” he said, breathless. 

||__

Today was the worst, Jae thought as he walked inside the café. It was pouring outside, with all the dramatic flash and thunder, as Mother Nature laughed on his face and decided to create the weather based on his awful day. He regretted even thinking that his day wouldn’t get any worse before someone bumped into him, splashing over scalding hot coffee all over him. Luckily he was left unscathed from the mishap, as he was wearing a thick hoodie and chased the liquid away from seeping through with the sleeves. 

Jae greeted Wonpil and the latter gave him some napkins to wipe his hoodie. As soon as he was done, Jae showed Wonpil his most dejected expression to get his message across. Wonpil sighed as he nodded for Jae to sit at his usual seat in the café. Jae put the money on the counter and Wonpil handed him the buzzer for his order.

Jae observed Wonpil from his seat as he was preparing his cheer-me-up iced chocolate with hazelnut syrup drink. The sweet concoction should be enough to make up for his horrendous day. As Jae waited for his cheer-me-up drink to arrive, he eavesdropped on the heated conversation between the two people behind him because he got nothing to do and he liked drama. Their issue was similar to the ones he was having right now.

The main reason for his bad day--Brian. It was all because Brian had to cancel on their excursion--hangout--date between friends. And, Jae was excited to spend the day with him. He had planned a lot of stuff to do together, like going to the new cat café, watching a movie, going to his favourite bakery, and eating dinner. It was supposed to be their first hangout, not the kind of date as he vehemently denied Dowoon. And Brian--he wanted to scream--had to take a damn rain check with him, on the very last minute. Jae reasoned it was the final nail on the coffin on the series of unfortunate events that happened for the week. Things hadn’t been going so well these past few days and Brian just had to make it worse for him.

His emotional outburst didn’t make sense to Brian. Why was he being so mad about it? Why can't he be cool and mature about it? What's so wrong about being mad? His anger was justified. 

It is, wasn’t it?

Jae had to come to some sort of explanation on why he was so pissed off at Brian for cancelling their plans at the last minute. So, he called Dowoon, the wise brain between the three of them, to rant and get some sort of comfort and the reassurance (lies) that he had been feeding himself. But instead of being helpful, the ever-so blunt Dowoon had messed with his brain and further increased the level of intensity of his confusion. Dowoon had refuted that they used to cancel plans all the time and he wasn’t as pissed at him as he was at Brian. He then yelled back at Dowoon because it was a different kind of plan. And when Dowoon hummed in indifference Jae excused himself because Brian had yelled back at him for being unreasonable.

_ ‘But what’s so different about it then? If you're insisting that it wasn’t a date?’ Dowoon's nonchalant tone was bothering Jae.  _

__

_ ‘Dowoon, what’re you trying to insinuate?’ _

__

_ ‘I don’t know. You tell me. Why’re you so mad about it, hyung?’ _

__

Jae had ended the call right after because Dowoon was not helping at all. And now he was sitting inside the café, waiting for Wonpil to be done with his shift so he could let out all of his frustration. What was Dowoon trying to say? That he--

“That doesn’t mean that I like him,” the person behind Jae shouted, bringing him out of his long list of contemplations and dilemma. Jae nodded, agreeing with the stranger statement and as an answer to the last thing Dowoon had asked him. Just because he was mad at Brian that didn’t mean that he harboured any feeling for the guy. It was normal to be mad when someone ditched you. 

“And, you hate it if he didn’t prioritise you first right?” his friend said.

Jae nodded without hesitation as if the question was directed to him.

Wait—Jae realized.

No. 

No-no-no-no-no. That was because Brian yelled at him for being mad at him, for being unreasonable.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” he scoffed.

Right. True. Correct. Absolutely. 

“Stop playing with delusion, Yunho. Don’t deny it anymore.”

He wasn’t denying anything, wasn’t he? Was he denying his feelings for Brian? He didn’t have feelings for Brian. It was supposed to be harmless and…oh fuck.

Jae groaned as if he had been smacked on the head, hard.

…he just wanted something without commitments. And right now, he was mad at Brian because he cancelled on him. 

“I—”

_ ‘I don’t know. You tell me, hyung.’ _

“—and I told you that it would end up badly,” the guy’s friend taunted and at the same time, Dowoon’s voice rang inside Jae’s mind again, for the umpteenth time.

__

_ ‘Why’re you so mad about it, hyung’? _

“Oh, shut up,” they both said at the same time and both startled by one another. Jae ducked his head in embarrassment, pulling his hood closer to his face. He didn’t dare to look up to anyone's eyes. It was bad enough that he had eavesdropped on them, to let them know he was doing that. Shit, it can’t get any worse than this can it? Did he step on some poor angel face this morning that this day had been shitting on him after one event to another?

Jae quickly got up when his pager buzzed, signalling that his order was ready. Jae pulled the hood of his hoodie further, covering for any recognition left as he dashed toward the counter. He muttered a small thanks to Wonpil and said he’ll text him later before sprinting out from the café.

|__ __

“Have you guys seen Jae?”

Jae stopped in his tracks when he heard the familiar voice. He found the familiar silhouette standing in front of him, right where his destination was supposed to be. Wonpil turned his head to see the Business Admin student standing behind him. They were idling at the student lounge in the Chemistry faculty while waiting for their next class. Wonpil's shocked expression after seeing Brian standing behind him was warranted. It was rare to see someone from the Business school stepping on the holy grounds of their faculty. Hell, of course, this was the first time to see someone other from the STEM courses major parading around this area. Even the Maths major didn’t come over their faculty often.

Jae watched the whole interaction from afar.

“Brian,” Dowoon shouted suddenly. Wonpil cocked an eyebrow at Dowoon’s weird reaction upon meeting him. Wonpil pursed his lips as he turned back to face Brian again. Then, his eyes met Jae’s, who was standing a few meters away behind Brian.

Damn. He needed to go and hide.

Wonpil’s eyes followed him as Jae slowly backed away and sent numerous signals to the two of them not to tell his whereabouts to Brian. Wonpil shared a quick meaningful look with Dowoon before he returned his eyes on Brian. 

“Guys? Have you seen Jae?”

“Jae? Ahh…” Wonpil drawled as Jae shook his head, promising death through his gaze if he was to spill a word to Brian. 

His skill in the acting department was better than he thought it was because he saw Wonpil got threatened by it. He took the chance when the three were engrossed in their conversation and slowly walked away. He disappeared into the building, finding a hiding spot behind the stairs and it was closed enough for him to observe the whole situation. 

“Yeah, he’s…I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since this morning. Right, Dowoon?”

“Yeah,” Dowoon drawled as he slowly nodded.

“You guys have a class together after this, right?” Brian asked, fidgety on his feet.

“Yeah. We’re waiting for him but…” Dowoon looked around him, “…he hasn’t shown up yet.”

Brian sighed, carding his hair in frustration. “Then, can you guys tell him, please pick up my calls and I’m sorry for earlier.”

Dowoon nodded, promising Brian that he will pass Brian message on. Brian gave him a halfhearted smile as he patted Dowoon’s shoulder and muttered thanks.

“Thanks guys.”

“No problem, see you around…” Wonpil said as he bit his lips, “and Brian.”

Brian turned around to look at Wonpil.

“I’ll talk to Jae. We both know how stupid he could be sometimes.”

Brian breathed in deep and gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, appreciate that. Beat some sense into him for me, will you?”

Jae sighed and sat on the floor, unbothered by the dirt that would clung onto his clothes. The whole thing was so messed up. Why did he have to catch feelings for Brian, dammit.

__ __ __

_ “Jae?” _

_ “Hey, Bribri. Are you coming to pick me up or are we meeting there?” _

_ “...” _

_ “Bri?” _

_ “Jae...sorry but can we do it at another time?” _

_ “Huh? What do you mean?” _

_ “Something came up.” _

_ “Brian, you’d promised. And, we had planned the whole thing since last week.” _

_ “I know, I’m really sorry but there’s nothing I can do about it.” _

_ “Of course you can.” _

_ “Jae, it’s my professor. I can’t just bail on him like that. That’s preposterous.” _

_ “So, you can just bail on me like that, then?” _

_ Brian sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s different.” _

_ “Fuck you, Kang.” _

_ “Jae, look...I’m sorry, but don’t you think you’re being unreasonable?” _

_ “What?” _

_ “It’s not like I do it on purpose. I can’t control these kinds of things, Jae.” _

_ “Whatever, see if I care.” _

_ “Jae, stop being ridiculous.” _

_ “Fuck you.” _

__ __ |

“Park Jaehyung, do you mind sharing what’s going on?” Wonpil asked over the phone. Jae didn’t even come to class after that afternoon.

“Can we talk about this later?” Jae replied after a moment of silence.

“Jae.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Okay, fine. I won’t force you but if you don’t want to talk about it at least talk to Brian.”

“What did he say?”

“You know what he'd said.”

Jae sighed. He had been ignoring all of Brian’s calls and texts since that day. How can he get out of this mess? Jae wanted to scream. And he knew that Wonpil must have catched on whatever problem was embroiled in him now. 

“Jae… I told you before right?”

“Please, Wonpil. Not now.”

“Okay, I won’t but Jae...” Jae can hear the deep sigh on the other end, “...don’t get yourself hurt.”

“It’s nothing, Wonpil.”

“Jae, we’d been friends for 15 years. I know when it isn’t ‘ _ nothing’ _ .”

“...”

“Sorry,” Jae said.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Jae...I’m always here for you, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” a long pause and then he said, “thanks, Pil.”

__ ||

Jae opened the door after he heard the familiar rhythmic sound on the door. Brian. Only he would be knocking on his door with that pattern.

He thought his heart was prepared for it. The sight of Brian, standing at his door. Brian, looking back at him. Jae can feel relief, concern, fear, and everything flashed through his mind in milliseconds as he took Brian presence in. How can he be living in denial for so long? For how long had he been harbouring feelings for this man?

“Hey,” Brian greeted him. “Can I come in?”

Jae nodded and he made space for Brian to step in. It was different. It felt different from their usual rendezvous. The atmosphere felt different. Was it because—he needed to stop thinking like that. He needed to pull his shit together if he wanted them to be like before. “Um, sorry. Yeah.”

And as usual, Kuro greeted Brian, rubbing his body on Brian’s leg as he purred under his attention.

“Hey, Kuro. Did you miss me?” Brian smiled as he picked up the cat. The same cat who is the reason for this whole shebang. The same cat who resided in his heart. The same cat who decided to let Brian slip inside Jae’s heart and accompany him in there. The same cat who answered Brian's question with a loud meow. 

Jae shook his head, throwing away all of those thoughts in his head. No, he wasn’t going to make things awkward between him and Brian. He wasn’t going to let Brian know about all of these things that have been happening inside of his mind. That was why he decided to act as nothing happened and let things fall back to their usual route. Just Jae and Brian, two people who feel comfortable with each other, no string attached. He won’t get in far deeper than he already was.

“Jae.”

Jae looked up and saw Brian looked at him. Kuro tucked under Brian’s chin as he scratched his neck. Kuro, in return, nuzzled Brian’s chin causing the latter to chuckle. The cat looked content and the picture they made was squirming something inside of Jae. That was not a good sign.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Jae gulped as he took a moment before regaining his composure. “It’s okay. Like you said, I was being unreasonable...overreacted.”

“No—”

“—Brian, can we just forget about that? I was having a bad week and I got too emotional at everything.”

Brian sighed as he put Kuro down and followed Jae inside his bedroom. Jae can feel his heartbeat getting louder, quicker, thumping underneath his chest when he hears the door click shut behind him. Kuro’s meow was no longer ringing in his eardrum. Only the sound of his heart beating did; it was so loud he was afraid that Brian could hear it.

“Jae.”

Jae can feel Brian standing behind him, so close that it was suffocating.

_ End it or do something about it. _

Jae turned around and placed his lips on Brian’s—shutting down all trains of thoughts. He can feel Brian’s grip on his waist tighten. Jae pressed further into the kiss. He just wanted to feel the warmth and comfort that Brian offered--always, every single time. Is it selfish of him to not want to end this thing? Is he being cruel to himself? What’s the right thing he should do, when the wrong thing felt so right?

“Brian,” he said between kisses, “please. I overreacted and you’re right, I’m being unreasonable that day. I’m sorry okay, so let’s forget about that.”

“Jae, I--”

“--I miss you …please.”

“Jae…”

“Brian, can we just do this right now?”

Jae can see the shift of emotion in Brian's face but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Someone--he has to be the one--had to set the boundary, remind them (himself) that they’re just sex friends. No emotion involved, no string attached.

“Okay,” Brian said.

Nothing.

And, Brian pushed him on the bed, and then Jae could feel his lips, and then his hands, and Jae was ready to lose himself. He can feel Brian’s touch, hot and burning, sneaked their way under his shirt. Then, his hand trailed gently up and down his ribs, sending an explosion of quivers on Jae’s skin. Jae moved to pull Brian’s t-shirt off, tossing it away and Brian did the same thing with his.

Jae wrapped his arms around Brian’s shoulder, pulling him closer for a kiss. Brian always kissed him with fervour, making him forget about everything. He pulled away, out of breath, chest heaving up and down. He stared at Brian’s face, which was completely high on arousal and his fingers came to rest on Brian’s warm cheek. He gave them a soft caress and watched as Brian’s eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the sensation. He moved his face closer to Jae, chasing his lips and reconnecting their lips once again.

This is what he and Brian are, Jae reminded himself as Brian moved lower and lower, lips trailing the expanse of porcelain skin underneath him. Brian's touch left a blazing tinge on Jae’s skin. This is what they are. Don’t expect anything. Don’t ruin anything. Jae reminded himself again before surrendering completely to the desire.

|||

Jae lay on the floor, breathing heavily as Kuro strutted to curl beside him.

“Kuro, do you like Brian?”

“Meow.”

“You do huh?”

“Meow.”

“I fucked things up huh?”

“Meow.”

"I like Brian.”

Jae turned on his side to face the cat. And, Kuro just stared back at him and proceeded to curl back to his original position. Jae laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, searching for some kind of answer within them.

“What if he doesn’t like me back? What should I do, Kuro?”

||

It was nearing the end of the semester. That also means datelines and submission due. So, it wasn’t a strange sight to see the normally empty and sparse library was now full and occupied. Jae walked to his favourite spot in the library, secluded and away from the hustle-bustle. 

It also worked because he can make up reasons for not seeing Brian and successfully avoiding from seeing him. Also avoiding from facing whatever was in store for him and Brian because apparently, he wasn't that good of an actor.

He took out his things and laid them on the table.

“Jae.”

Jae looked up to see Brian standing in front of him.

Shit. He forgot that Brian knew about his spot and his tendency to opt for the library when studying.

“Can I sit here?” he asked.

Jae nodded, after taking some time to process the whole situation, and cleared some of his stuff on the table. But Brian pulled a chair beside him. Jae gave him a look, as his mind began panicking, but he acted unbothered by it. Jae took his books and placed it back in front of him. Brian smiled as he opened his laptop and brought out his notes from his bag. They both worked in silence for a few hours. 

“Jae…”

Jae hummed in reply, still focusing on whatever it was on his laptop, fingers deftly pressing the keys in succession.

“I’m hungry,” Brian whined. He dropped his head on the table, facing sideways so he was looking straight at Jae.

“Then go find something to eat,” Jae said, trying hard to ignore Brian and hoping he will go away soon. He clicked on the save icon before turning his head to look at Brian. “Look Bri, I got an assignment due and if you got nothing to do but bother me, please fuck off.”

Brian sat up and then he leaned closer, closing in the distance between them. It stirred something in Jae’s stomach. The way the light shone behind Brian made everything move in a slow-motion, making everything about Brian visible in his sight. It was that moment again—the one where nothing seemed to matter but him.

Jae quickly snapped out of it, turning his face away and taking a deep breath in. He can see Brian’s face hardened from the corner of his eye, the way his body grew stiff at Jae’s response. It took a few minutes as Jae heard him sighed loudly.

“Jae…”

Jae willed himself to look at Brian. He didn’t answer him. His face was serious, contorting in pain and Jae didn’t know how to respond to that.

“What do you mean by that?”

Jae gulped, had an inkling on where they were heading.

“Why did you make your own decision?”

“Brian…”

“No, Jae. What did I do wrong?”

Jae averted his eyes from looking at Brian’s pain-stricken ones. He took a deep breath.

“Can we at least talk this elsewhere?”

|

“Kuro, stay here, okay. I need to talk to Brian.”

Jae closed the door to his room after letting Kuro inside. He gripped the handle as if channelling all of his inner strength before he turned to face Brian.

They were staring at each other, words unspoken as Jae walked to sit in front of him. Brian still looked dashing as ever, minus the frazzled hair and his tired eyes-- he was in the same condition as Brian minus the dashing part. They both were a mess. But, Jae pushed that thought away. Hope was a dangerous element.

“Drinks?” he asked, trying to start somewhere and hopefully end it soon.

Brian kept mum and his gaze burned onto Jae’s skin.

“No? My mum just sends me this--”

“--Jae.”

Brown met brown. The serious frown marred Brian’s beautiful visage and Jae knew that it was no use trying to tiptoe around the elephant. Jae’s audible sigh resonated loudly around every corner of the room. He clasped his hands together, gripping it tightly as he uttered the truth. His eyes didn’t have the courage to meet Brian’s.

“I’m sorry but Bri, I can’t do this anymore.”  _ My heart can’t take it anymore. _

They looked at each other and Jae can’t read the expression on Brian’s face. His grip tightened, as he uttered his thoughts. 

“So, I hope you’ll respect my wish.” Please don’t let him fall deeper than this. Jae remembered the influx of emotions when he typed the message last night. The message that Brian left him on read. And, now he was going to say it out loud and it felt so hard, like thousands of needles were pricking on his throat. Each syllable felt acidic on his tongue. 

“Let’s end this.”

Silence filled the room, creating an atmosphere where the air was so thick, he could hardly breathe. Like they were suddenly thrown into a void. Each and every sound in the room resonated loud and it was filling his ear. The lump in his throat was getting bigger and he wanted to throw up. The way Brian stared at him was undecipherable, stoic, telling him nothing and everything at the same time.

“No.”

Jae widened his eyes. 

“What? Brian—”

“No, Jae,” Brian said, carding his hair in frustration. He stood up, pacing in front of him before stopping to look at him straight in the eyes. “Fuck you.”

“Excuse me?”

“What is the fucking shit you‘re fucking me with?” he yelled, walking closer to Jae. “You think you can get rid of me this easily. Think again, Park.”

Anger. That was the emotion burning inside Brian and he can’t understand it. Why was he so mad? Irrational. Why was he yelling? He was the one who is supposed to be mad.

“What the fuck are you being so mad for, Bri?” Jae asked, hitting Brian’s shoulder when he came around to cage him on the sofa. Their faces were so close together.

“So, you just used me and tossed me aside when you'd had enough?” 

“What the fuck do you mean? If this is about our arrangement, there’s plenty out there for you to pick.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Brian spat, “you think I’m a piece of shit that’ll fuck anyone with an ass, do you?”

“Bri...”

Brian carded his hair and sighed heavily. He slowly backed off and sat on the empty space beside Jae. “Have you ever heard of me fucking around? Have you, Jae?”

“Bri—”

“—no, listen Park Jaehyung,” Brian carded his hair again. He exhaled a long sigh and Jae waited, each silence was weighing heavily on his shoulder. And then he met Brian’s eyes. There was so much emotion conveyed that he didn’t know where he should start to decipher. 

“I like you, Jae.”

Jae blinked, and blinked, and blinked.

_ I like you. _

“What?”

Brian gave him a weak smile.

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, with how this whole thing started, the arrangement and everything. But I…” Brian bit his lips and Jae felt this sudden urge to kiss him, “…I like you, have been for a long time, before you even know I exist. I like you.”

“But…I don’t…how…someone like—”

“—someone like you who’s amazing and beautiful and kind and everything I ever wanted,” Brian said as their eyes found each other again. He was so beautiful that Jae wanted to kiss him. So much. “Park Jaehyung, I really, really, reallllly like you.”

“Brian.”

“I’m sorry I lashed out at you but I was at wit's end. I don’t want to go back to square one. I don’t want to let you go. I don't want to lose you,” Brian said as he got hold of Jae’s hand. “I was desperate to keep you by my side. I didn’t know what to do.”

He didn't know Brian was having a difficult time because of him. It made him feel guilty on how he was behaving towards him for the past few days. 

“I…I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Brian said. He let go of Jae’s hand and distanced himself from him. “Sorry.”

“Bri?” Did he say something wrong? Dammit, Brian must have gotten the wrong impression with his apology. "Brian, wait--"

“Sorry, I…sorry, I was thoughtless. I mean, I was…” he sighed. “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. Forget—”

And whatever Brian wanted to say was lost as Jae kissed him. It wasn’t the first time they kissed, but it felt like it was the first time his lips tasted Brian’s. He found it familiar but yet foreign. He rested his forehead against Brian’s, eyes closed as he took in the moment. Finally. 

“Jae?”

“I like you too.”

“What?”

Jae smiled as he opened his eyes, seeing the beautiful sight bestowed to him.

“I like you, Brian. Really like you. Like a lot.”

“You like me?”

Jae nodded, like a kid agreeing to anything as long as he got what he desired. 

“Yes.”

“You...like me?”

Jae smiled as he leaned for a kiss again. “I like you. Really, really, really like you, Kang Younghyun.”

“Will you be my boyfriend then?”

Jae laughed and he leaned in for another quick kiss.

“Thought you'll never ask.”

__

“What did you mean by you like me before I even knew about you?”

“Well…” Brian stopped playing with his hair. They were cuddling on Jae’s couch as they watched some anime movie Brian had suggested. Jae sat up and turned to look at Brian, and his boyfriend was trying to avoid his gaze.

“Bribri.”

Brian sighed before surrendering to his demise. “You might not remember, but do you remember the day when you saved Kuro and picked him up from the street?”

“Wait....how did you know that I picked him up from the street?”

“Well, do you remember that someone who helped you rescue him from the ditch?”

“Wait…you?”

“No…that was my twin.” Brian rolled his eyes before he laughed. 

“Kang.”

“Yeah, that was me,” Brian sighed as he pulled Jae back in his arms. He kissed the crown of Jae’s head. “Can’t believe that you forgot about me.”

“But wasn’t that like three years ago?”

“And, your point is?” And then Brian took a sniff of his scent.

“You’re deeper in it than I was,” Jae giggled, pushing Brian away as he tried to sniff-kiss Jae some more. 

“No comment.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe someone hot as you had a crush on me.”

"So you think I'm hot huh?" Brian hummed and ran his hand on Jae’s arm. Jae shrugged his shoulders and let Brian have his way with him. He discovered that he liked these kinds of moments better than in bed. Not that the sex was bad, it was amazing, but moments like this really made their relationship felt much, much better. 

"And that's the only thing you heard." Jae turned his face slightly to look at Brian and asked, "so, tell me, Mr Kang. What was your agenda on that night at the party?” 

Brian jutted his lips, feigning ignorance and focusing on the tv.

“Come on, Bribri. Tell me," Jae goaded him, pulling his best pleading face that Jae knew Brian can't win against. Brian sighed before he dropped a kiss on his crown as he tightened his hold on Jae. 

“To be honest, nothing. Sungjin threatened to kill me if I didn't make a move or at least talk to you...and I wanted to see Kuro again.”

Jae laughed. “You’re so hopeless. Guess I’ll have to thank Sungjin for that.”

“And Kuro,” Brian added and on cue, Kuro paraded towards the two.

Jae laughed, nodding his head as he picked Kuro up, settling the cat on his lap. “And Kuro.”

“Meow.”

They laughed at his response.

“Guess I’ll have to buy more treats for you Kuro,” Brian said as he scratched Kuro’s head.

“Uh-uh, no, you can't, mister. He's on a strict diet. Boyfriend or not, I won’t tolerate it anymore.”

“It’s okay, Kuro. I’ll distract him with my boyfriend's privilege so you can have your treat.”

“Kang Younghyun. You’ll not do such things.”

He smirked. “Oh, yeah? Try me.”

“I swear, Kang.”

Brian laughed before he kissed Jae's crown again. He whispered at Jae's ear, using that weakness Jae had over his lower register tone. "Jae, dearest. You're not the only one who knows his ways to get what he wants."

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> tbh it's been soooo long. thank you for reading.


End file.
